I don’t know about anyone else, but it is really hard for me to write when I’ve had a crappy day. I get really stressed out and start thinking non-stop about what I could have done better, why I shouldn’t have done this, why I shouldn’t have said that… and then there is no way I can write. At all.
I hate that kind of anxiety. It’s the kind of anxiety that makes me lose weight (although that’s actually the silver-lining on the dark gloomy cloud,) makes my stomach feel upset, and makes it hard to sleep at night. And then it makes me wonder why in the world am I doing something that’s going to end up giving me ulcers…when I could be writing?
I mean really- life will go on whether I stay in this situation or not…so why stay miserable when life is so damn short? Don’t get me wrong- I love what I do…it’s just hard to interact on a daily basis with people who are watching your every move WAITING for you to *&^& up.
I want what I do to be meaningful to the people I do it for. I’m there to give what I can to who needs it. But I also need to look at what my weaknesses are as well as what my needs are.
And maybe what I need to do is focus on what I can do.
And look! I found the one thing that can help me with the stress: writing about it.
I’m feeling calmer already.