Some women in this day and age seem to subscribe to the belief that having friendships with other women is fraught with drama and tension and is, on the whole, better avoided. While many women do not believe this, it is important to consider why these ideas and beliefs might come into play.
Women as a whole suffer under stereotypes of being emotional, illogical, hysterical, dramatic, and a host of other negative terminologies that have been foisted onto them by society. Could these stereotypes still be instilled within women to the point where they see each other through these negative lenses?
This is an important question to hold in one’s mind.
In general, negative interactions occur when negative thought patterns are acted upon. Because of this truth, it’s important for women to guard their thoughts against such negative images of other females because, ultimately, it as the same view they have of themselves.
Women as a whole must intentionally keep positive thoughts in their mind about each other and about themselves, because negative thought patterns are what cause the disintegration in interpersonal relations and even internal beliefs about self.
What does divorce really mean? How does it affect us? What’s life like after a divorce?
These questions are important to consider when going through a life-changing transition such as divorce or separation. The grief and loss that one can feel during such times can be nearly as devastating as losing someone to death.
A period of time dedicated to healing is essential after a divorce. One can often feel as though a part of themselves is missing, life has lost meaning, and they are not sure how to continue. They might even experience denial or attempt to bargain their way back into the relationship. These are all normal reactions–in fact they are part of the normal grief reactions described in Kubler Ross’s Stages of Grief:
It’s important to know that these stages might not happen in a certain order, or complete once the grieving person has reached acceptance. Sometimes the grieving process can skip and jump through the stages and recycle itself before finally completing.
The most important thing to remember while healing is that this process of grief is normal–and it takes time. Even if, and possibly especially if, your relationship was toxic and unhealthy, the grieving process might be something you experience before finally entering a state of healing.
In today’s society, people have become so focused on filling each minute and second of time with activity, that often people either forget, or don’t understand the need for self-care. Many people push self-care to the back burner, and sacrifice their health and vitality to the alter of work and giving to others–without ever replenishing their dwindling reserves of energy. However energy, like a glass of water, depletes itself: the more sips and gulps you take — the less there is in the glass.
It’s important to do a self-assessment and gauge where your energy levels are:
Are you always tired?
Do you have difficulty getting to sleep or waking up?
Are you short tempered or irritable?
Do you find yourself snapping at small things?
Is it difficult for you to tolerate mistakes from others?
Do you raise your voice without realizing it?
These are symptoms and clues that perhaps your energy is at a dangerous low. Ask yourself this: Do you have a self-care routine?
If you do, how often do you practice self-care? If not, when was the last time you did something for yourself?
Self-care can be anything from taking a long soothing bath, taking a nap or a walk, jogging or playing a sport at the park, going to the gym or even just spending a relaxing bit of time with friends. Whatever it is, make sure to take “me time.”
Can guys be just as good friends as your girlfriends?
Many of us have grown up with the belief that men and women cannot be friends without some form of attraction happening. Whether it was our parents who told us that, “There’s no such thing as being ‘just’ friends,” or our friends who queried us saying, “Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you guys?” for the most part, people seem to believe that friendships between men and women are always based on ulterior motives.
But is this truly the case?
Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D., a writer for Psychology Today discusses the conflicts and difficulties that can take place in friendships between men and women. In his article he describes how men view being “friend-zoned,” vs women who experience the friend zone — but as friends with benefits. Neither zone is described as desirable to either gender.
Still, there are many people who would say that, yes, a platonic friendship is possible between men and women. Dr. Nicholson touches very briefly on this particular circumstance, yet highlights that these types of friendships can often cause jealousy in the outside romantic relationships that these two friends might have.
So how to handle these difficulties? There clearly isn’t a solid answer as of yet.
However, it is clear that for some, at least, a platonic relationship between men and women is a possibility, and there are tangible benefits to it.
Would you go on reality TV? Would you let millions of people inside your life…?
On a daily basis, most people never think about what actions they take, the things they say or do. If most people really thought and considered that they are being judged by those around them, would they change their behaviors? Would they, perhaps, consider the things that they said more carefully?
Most people at some point have watched reality television. Watching these people on these shows can be extremely amusing — and it can also be troubling. Often, these people return to their daily lives after exposing some of the darkest parts of their character to the public — and it permanently affects how people they know perceive them. If they had truly considered the consequences of showing their lives on reality television — would they have done things differently?
As human beings, we need to think and consider the consequences of each action we take, each word that we say. We need to think of the consequences as though the whole world were watching us, because, in this day and age of social media — it’s possible that the whole world is. Consider the people caught on cellphone cameras committing ugly deeds — which then went viral. Perhaps if they thought about what the consequences of their actions, they might have responded differently.
Don’t wait until your actions have been filmed and gone viral to change the way you act, speak and behave. Behave as though the world was watching you at all times. Then you will not need to regret anything you’ve said or done.
What would you do for a loved one? Is there an extent to your love?
Most people go through life without seriously thinking about what extent they would go to for a loved one. Now, the majority of time, for a majority of people this never causes serious difficulties. However, there are instances where not thinking and planning ahead for how much you might do for a loved one, or how far you might go could leave you in a state of panic or confusion in some unforeseen disaster.
For some, the question of how far they would go or how much they would do for a loved one is simple: they would do anything. But is this truly the right response? What if doing anything is against the law and could destroy the lives of those around you forever?
Thinking and planning ahead for emergencies is an important task that, at times, can seem pessimistic or negative, but can actually be productive or helpful.
Don’t allow some unforeseen disaster or tragedy take place before you start planning how much you will do or how far you will go to take care of the loved ones in your life.
If you could choose to live a life of fame, would you? Many people would choose to be famous, however those who have actually gone from being unknown to having fame often state the downsides: lack of privacy, harassment by the media, being used by people for their fame, and being judged at a higher standard than they were used to prior to becoming famous.
Now, all of this can seem like baseless whining to those who don’t have fame and the associated power and influence that comes with it. Feeling as though the famous just don’t appreciate their good luck well enough can cause a lack of sympathy that might be unwarranted.
History has many examples of lives that were destroyed by their own fame: Princess Diana, John Belushi, Russell Armstrong, and many others. An example today is Meghan Markle and Prince Harry who are constantly harassed and targeted by vitriolic media.
It goes without saying that there are innumerable benefits that come with being famous, however, there are downsides — real ones — that also accompany fame and fortune.
Light Skin vs Dark Skin. Do you love the skin you are in?
Colorism. This is a topic that is not only difficult, but also sometimes taboo to discuss. Why is that? Because the very roots of colorism has much to do with the painful history of the enslavement of people of color. Native Americans, Africans, Japanese, Chinese and people of other racial descent were often enslaved on the basis that their skin was easily distinguished from the lighter skinned races.
The very shadow of that taint on history still plagues the preferences of our generation today. You still see darker skinned minorities lightening their skin.
However, you also see the lighter skinned races darkening their skin.
Why is that?
Have the ideals and characteristics of the races of darker shades developed an appeal to those of the lighter skinned races?
Are the darker skinned races completely unaware of the hatred of shade evidenced by their usage of skin-lightening products?
What is the psychology behind this act of lightening or darkening one’s flesh, altering the very essence of how one appears?
This is a difficult question to answer as it would seem there might be many different answers to these questions.
Much of this phenomenon, of course, has to do with what the media portrays as beautiful and desirable. You are desirable if you are not “too” dark. You are exotic or sexy if you are not “too” pale — and the evidence of this is that numerous skin tanning locations are spread across the country.
Again and again we see that women are told that the skin they are in is not acceptable. It must be lighter if it is “too” dark. Or, alternatively, it must be darker if it is “too” pale.
The only way to be free of this self-induced bondage to self-hate is to reject what the media portrays.
Your skin is beautiful no matter how light or dark. Embrace your body and who you are.
Don’t believe anyone or trust anything that tells you anything different.
You have been tasked with the job of writing something. Any amount of time that you can save is precious. Along with writing comes the responsibility of research, correctly attributing information, correcting grammar and punctuation – the list goes on. So, to expedite the entire writing process, a list of tools might come in handy when you begin your writing assignment (or project, or whatever your literary burden is.) Check out the list below:
Grammarly: Spell checks, plagiarism check, punctuation, and grammar – invaluable and FREE.
Google Docs: You can save your document in .doc form and edit so that anyone can view – also free.
Canva.com: Need a free image to add some splash to your page? Need to edit that image and add some flair? Head over to this site and search to your heart’s content!
With these tools, you’ll be able to write and share your article in .docx format, proofread for errors, and add eye-catching content to your literary project – all without spending a dime.